Cox Laboratory of Integrative Evolutionary Biology
  • Home
  • Research
  • Publications
  • People
  • News
  • The Itinerant Naturalist

It is okay and expected to ask for letters of recommendation

4/26/2026

0 Comments

 
If you are an empathetic and caring person, you might feel bad about asking for letters of recommendation from current and former mentors as you apply for postdocs or permanent jobs. I don’t like to impose on other people, and I remember that there was a lot of activation energy before I would ask for a letter of recommendation earlier in my career. At this point in my career, I write dozens of letters of recommendation each year, and I have done so for at least a decade. With all this experience, I don’t think anyone should feel bad requesting a letter of recommendation.
 
            This post is oriented primarily towards graduate students and postdocs. I don’t think that undergraduates should feel bad about asking for letters of recommendation, but whether a given professor can write an informed letter will depend a lot on the specific circumstances such as class size and performance. However, you are well within your rights, and also well within standard practice in the sciences, to request a letter of recommendation from any of your grad advisors, or anyone that serves on your graduate committee, or any senior collaborator.
 
            Writing letters of recommendation for my trainees is part of my job. One of the things that I am paid to do is to train and mentor graduate students and postdocs, and writing letters of recommendation is part of that job. If you have a mentor who is reluctant to write a letter of recommendation, or tries to discourage you from applying for an opportunity because they would have to write a letter, they are in the wrong. Of course, there are caveats- if someone can’t write you a positive letter because you were a jerk or did not do your job, that is on you. Another caveat would be that you might not want a student to apply for something for a valid reason that has nothing to do with a letter of rec (i.e., the opportunity is not the best move, etc.). But simply not wanting to write a letter because doing so requires work is not acceptable.
 
            It may feel like you are responsible for a lot of work if you are applying for 40 tenure track jobs and most of those need a letter from your advisor. But besides being their job, it is not that much additional work to customize a letter for each opportunity. At this point, I have written letters of recommendation for each of my students, and updating and customizing is not a major effort.
 
            Besides being my job, I also don’t mind writing letters of recommendation because I want my mentees to end up in great positions. It is fun to write about the great work done by my junior colleagues, and I like explaining to search committees just why I think my colleague would be an excellent choice. Of course, I would not be in my current position without my mentors writing me letters of recommendation. So don’t hesitate to ask for letters of recommendation, and be enthusiastic about providing letters of recommendation for your trainees when your time comes. 
0 Comments

Working with difficult or bad mentors

4/4/2026

0 Comments

 
During a career in science, you may be put in the position to work with difficult people. This can run the gamut from people with tricky personalities to abusive or toxic personalities. This can be difficult enough if they are just coworkers, but sometimes these difficult people will be your boss.

            Obviously, toxic or difficult personalities are not limited to academia or science. I worked for seven years for Radioshack (remember Radioshack?). This was an ideal job for me in high-school and college, and I made great money (for a part-time job) selling cellphones and TVs and computers. I had six managers during that time, and they ranged from the best and most influential mentor I have had in my life, to downright verbally abusive. On the positive side, I had a manager at Radioshack who assigned readings to broaden my horizons (Malcolm X’s autobiography!) and challenged me to do better in my college classes. I also had a manager who showed up drunk and stumbling, and was frequently verbally abusive (he was eventually fired). I had another manager who was a creep, not towards me, but he said many things that made me uncomfortable. I had another manager who was as dumb as a bag of hammers. So when I started graduate school, I was looking forward to having mentors that were experts, and who I could respect.
 
            I also have experience with mentors in science who were bad people. I am going to be vague about career stage for privacy reasons, but I had one mentor who was just a terrible person. Their transgressions included abusing research animals, sexually harassing students, verbally abusing and belittling everyone in the lab, and sleeping around in a department where their spouse also worked. I reported all of the awful behavior to the department chair and other faculty, and absolutely nothing was done about it. I have a decent capacity for suffering, so I just gritted my teeth and tried to leave the lab as quickly as possible.
 
            A substantial minority of the people that I know in the sciences have worked with a bad person, and almost everyone has worked with a difficult person. Sometimes even good people treat people poorly during period of stress (like being a pre-tenure faculty member, or high-stakes field or lab work). I think for decent people who may not be aware that they are having a bad impact on trainees, setting boundaries and explaining the bad impact of their behavior can help reduce any issues. However, for bad people, this may not work.
 
            There are steps that you can take if your mentor is irredeemably bad. First, you can just try to power through, like I did for a while. This may not be a good choice depending on your personality, if you have a long time to completion, or if the abusive behavior is really bad. I am not sure that it was the best choice for me, but it is what I did.
 
            Second, you can try to get help resolving the situation from sympathetic allies that are in a position of power. My experience is that this works best if you can actually remove yourself from the orbit of the toxic mentor (e.g., complete a chapter of a dissertation in another lab), as the toxic person is unlikely to respond to criticism from someone else. They might ease off just enough to let you finish and be done.
 
            Third, you can try to seek help from someone higher up the chain (e.g., if your undergraduate advisor is being abusive, you can reach out to the department chair). I think whether or not this works has a lot to do with the institutional culture around such things. Institutions are usually most interested in protecting themselves, and in my experience prefer to suppress reports of bad behavior, rather than solve them. I also think that the presence of a toxic personality in an academic unit might well be a signal that the unit does not care about reducing abusive behavior. My personal experience was that my reports of illegal and unethical behavior were ignored. But this happened back in the mists of time in the early 2000s, and I do think that awareness of bad behavior by mentors has increased, and tolerance for abuse has decreased. I also think that if something illegal is happening, and you have evidence/documentation, the institution may be forced to act. Whether or not you formally report bad behavior depends a lot on the specifics of your circumstances.
 
            Finally, you can always leave an abusive mentoring situation. This is what I did when I could, and I think it is often the best choice. After all, why choose to continue to work with someone who is being a jerk? I think many people, including myself, fall for the sunk cost fallacy when making these decisions. If you are two years into a five-year dissertation, it may feel like you wasted two years if you leave the lab. But those two years are gone, and suffering through another three years can have profound impacts on your mental health. Also, those two years are not wasted, even if you switch fields, because you have likely completed classes and learned research techniques that you can bring to a new position. Also, in the grand scheme of your life, two or three or even five years is not that long, and my perspective is that life is too short to be miserable for very long.
 
            However, you may well encounter difficulties leaving a toxic situation. Often the personality traits that make someone abusive also makes them want to sabotage your ability to leave. In my case, my toxic advisor tried to make me stick around longer, and I informed them that I was leaving at a certain point, regardless of completion. You might also be threatened with career sabotage. All I can tell you is that reports that a trainee is terrible are met with a lot of suspicion, and at least in my corner of integrative biology, nobody has such centralized power that they can scuttle careers at will. My only advice to you is that you deserve to be treated well, and if you have decided that leaving is the best course of action, then you should feel empowered to do so.
 
            Nobody deserves to be treated poorly or abused. And I think that the preponderance of mentors in our field are humane and decent people, even if all of us stumble sometimes in our mentorship of junior scientists. So if you are in a bad situation, reach out to people that you trust, and consider leaving if it is possible for you. You will be amazed at how life improves without a malevolent force in your life. And choosing to stick around in an abusive situation can have far-reaching negative impacts. All of us should take the lessons learned from all mentors, even the evil ones, and incorporate them into our mentorship to make sure that we treat our mentees in an ethical way.  
0 Comments

    Author

    Christian L. Cox is faculty at Florida International University. 

    Archives

    May 2026
    April 2026
    March 2026
    December 2025
    November 2025
    October 2025
    September 2025

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed